As I stare down at the wide-mouthed rabid zombie violently attacking my boob with his mouth, I coo and shush and remember his sweet, angelic sleeping face I’d lovingly stared at just seconds ago and I thank the nipple Gods for giving me flat nipples that require me to use nipple shields. And, as I write this I marvel at my ability to so freely talk about my nipples – and to flash them at complete strangers. A few weeks ago my biggest fear was pooping during delivery and being mortified, now I proudly announce successful bowel movements to my husband (postpartum number twos are a bit daunting, don’t judge me).
This morning my husband mused how much easier this newborn thing would be if we weren’t breastfeeding and cloth diapering. He mentioned the time we were spending feeding and tending to diapers and it’s true. Sometimes feedings take longer than an hour, especially when Jackson falls back asleep or gets frustrated trying to latch and the countdown to the next feeding starts when the current feeding begins. This is especially exhausting during overnight feedings. While he isn’t wrong, we’d definitely have a lot of our time back if we weren’t taking the few extra steps. But, both he and I committed to breastfeeding and we feel every extra minute or hour is worth the time lost – what else would we be doing with that time? Sure the new season of Orange is the New Black is great, but it can wait. We will never again have these moments with Jackson and in a few weeks, I will go back to work and I am certain I will miss those frustrating moments when his latch isn’t perfect or he falls asleep while nursing only to wake up 20 minutes later rooting and hungry. Mostly though, I will miss seeing his milk drunk face.
As for the cloth diapers, sure we do a few extra loads of laundry, but we also never have to worry about having enough diapers or wonder if the synthetic materials are irritating his ultra sensitive skin. But, it is comforting knowing that he won’t always be a pooping machine and we won’t always be changing him as often as we are feeding him. Not to mention the benefit to our wallets and the environment.
Before becoming pregnant, I’d never heard the terms “crunchy” or “silky” Mom. To me, a mom was a mom was a mom. But, upon discovering I was pregnant I also discovered the highly opinionated message boards and Facebook groups dedicated to the many choices parents can make for their children. When we were trying to get pregnant, we talked about using cloth diapers – mostly my highly aware, recycling-loving and bug saving husband – and breastfeeding. We talked about the health benefits and the environmental advantages and even the cost-savings that might come with these choices and we committed fairly early on in the pregnancy to both.
With the cloth diapers, we had a day or two of learning – which were dramatically reduced by sound advice from fellow cloth diapering friends – but, overall they aren’t that much harder than disposables. We still get peed on and occasionally, we touch poop (gasp!). Sure there are times in the middle of the night when I’m half asleep from feeding and I’m fumbling to the bathroom to rinse poop off of a diaper that I wonder if it’s worth it. But, then I look down at that sweet, angelic face covered in milk and I realize that every extra minute is worth the time “lost.”