When I was pregnant, everyone was so excited. Co-workers couldn’t wait to meet and snuggle my baby. Friends were excited and eager to come over and play. I was genuinely excited about the prospect of my son having a slew of surrogate aunts and uncles – a wide net to lean on and call on when things got confusing or for his future teenage self to turn to when Mom and Dad just didn’t get it. And then a funny thing happened; I gave birth. And no one wanted to snuggle or schedule play time. My phone lit up with “let’s get together soon” texts and then went quiet once I’d throw back a date and time. “Sure,” they’d say. “Soon!” Eventually, I stopped pushing and I stopped getting my hopes up.
Even my fellow mom and new mom friends fell off. Well, except for one. An old friend that I’d lost touch with over the years – she’d reached out when I got engaged and again when I announced my pregnancy to share her excitement. We talked off and on during my pregnancy and after. Then, we made plans to meet and get pedicures and dinner – and we actually followed through. Our mom-styles were polar opposites – SAHM vs. working mom; bottle vs. breast; CIO vs. non-CIO, sposies vs. cloth … you name it, we didn’t agree on it. The best part of all of that, it doesn’t freaking matter! But, what we did have in common? Lonely Mom Syndrome. She too had gone through the very thing that I was when she had her first and then her second baby – and I was one of those friends that flaked on her.
As a mom in general, and especially as a working mom, it is important to maintain a few relationships in life where you have the ability to completely and unapologetically be yourself. When you can send a random note confessing that you just baked and ate an entire pan of brownies. Or, that you’re over this whole not sleeping thing. Or, even when you’ve reached your breaking point and you need a touch of reason and sanity to bring you back around. And sometimes, it’s nice to have some one to talk to and gush about the latest limited edition palette at Sephora. After all, it’s the little things that make life more interesting.
So to my fellow Lonely Mom Syndrome Suffers, know you are not alone and know your Mom BFF is likely just a call or message away and she is likely looking forward to your call or message.