On Hiatus

As a writer, I’m expected to know the right words to say … or at least have a few prepared. But I don’t.

I’m exhausted. I need to breathe. I need to focus. I need a break.

If you’ve stumbled on this post because my Instagram account is currently disabled, know that I will be back, I’m just taking a breather. I’m stepping away from my phone and back into my life for a bit.

The past year and a half has been difficult for everyone. I pulled away from reality to try to find a little corner of peace and happiness. For a while, that was enough. Then when it wasn’t, I just kept pretending it was.

Between leaving a toxic job situation and starting a new job that is both rewarding and filled with grace and positivity, I’d hoped that would be enough to clear my headspace.

But one change rarely makes the kind of impact I needed.

My struggles went beyond a work-life balance issue. I won’t go into everything here as I’m sure many of you understand the weight working mothers, women, wives, etc. carry. We slap on smiles and make everyone think we have it all together.

We don’t.

We yell at our kids. We cry at our desks. We toss and turn as every mistake and anxiety replay when the lights go out.

For me, I also hide in my phone. I scroll on social media or play stupid games or do anything I can to keep myself from facing reality. And, it’s not working for me. I need to break up with my phone for a bit and reprioritize life. Say yes to playing Barbies or LEGOs with the kids. Listen to my husband when he tells me about cryptocurrency or something on Reddit. Pay attention to the world around me.

But most importantly, I need to pay attention to myself. I need to sit with my thoughts and try to dig myself out of the layers of protection I’ve spent 40 years building.

I don’t know how long I’ll be offline for, but if you need me, use the contact form or email or text me. I’m still here. I’m just trying to find myself. Again.

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